WikiLeaks was hosted here
We're trying to emulate Twitter
Our engineers took their love for Culture Club too far
Someone tripped on the cord
The zombies made it from Atlanta to New York
Sunday is a day of rest
Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit.
Our tubes are clogged
We're a free service. Goddamn.
We're trying to start a new meme here, people
We're too hip to be square
Websites feel the pain of Mondays too
Somebody set us up the bomb
All the cool kids are doing it
We're busy porting everything to WordPress
The hipsters decided it'd be ironic to leave and go back to Blogspot
Did we mention we re-hired Jakob Lodwick this weekend?
We finally noticed we forgot the friggin' 'e'
Down is the new up
Visa suspended our payments
Everyone is trying to have 99.9% uptime. We like to Think Different.
We're testing this new error page, you know…
Our cat died
Gone for lunch, be back in 10
So you realize how much you missed us
The rent is too damn high
We're rebuilding this page in HTML5
How else are you going to get some sunlight?
The Internet is dying… Slowly.
Would you believe it if we told you we were kidnapped?
Stuck in traffic… There in 15ish?
We're running to the packy, bro — need anything?
MySQL. Need we say more?
… just as soon as we finish this game of Robot Unicorn Attack.
Chillin' with our shorties
… and you can too!
Grandpa messed with the microwave again
NASA disrupted our arsenic-based database administrators
Cocaine is a hell of a drug
Sorry, someone picked up the phone in another room
But let us be clear:
We're never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
So what if we don't have a cute little mascot for failure?
Now you go in the corner and think about what you did wrong!
The Ministry of Dark Censorship realized this was a land of freedom
Some obscure reason… You've probably never heard of it
Can anyone recommend a decent router?
A beach-themed party in the datacenter wasn't our best idea ever.
Does anyone know how to fix a "database cluster"? #lazyweb
Had a thing
Looking up the definition of "shortly."
The reason is something topical that won't make sense next week
This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps
David Karp is on a REALLY good date
We found a new beer. Problem is, servers like it too.
Eduardo froze the accounts
We forgot to pay the electric bill
Keep calm and spam F5
It's Misha Collins. He confessed.
How did an iceberg even get into our datacenter?
Come on, we've all put in diesel instead of gasoline
Remember that scene from "Christmas Vacation"? We didn't.
Our Mogwai got wet
Thought the doctor said, "Turn it off," not, "Turn and cough."
I am away from my computer right now.
The TSA confiscated our servers
There was an error with the dispersal generated by the flux capacitor
We want a movie too
You know, siestas are very common in other parts of the world
Our (other) cat walked on the keyboard
Somebody hacked the Gibson!
We should have read that contract before agreeing to this
Don't worry, we're only down in THIS universe
We're not dead… We're getting better. We feel fine.
Kashmir just came on…
We enjoy watching you suffer
Only "certain pages" are unavailable. Really.
We've fallen and we can't get up
Our servers went to a nice farm in the country
3 billion pageviews a month. That is all.
Superhero battle in the datacenter
Ain't no thang
We pissed off Anonymous
We didn't have enough opportunities to be self-deprecating
Reduced the polarity of the neutron flow
It's all in your imagination
Apparently the Y2K bug was hibernating
Our network provider is AT&T
Doing bong rips of salvia with Miley Cyrus
This Google Cr-48 isn't as powerful as we thought
I think someone's at the door
Our lighter-than-air severs proved flammable. Oh, the non-humanity!
We've made a huge tiny mistake
We crossed the streams
Discount dilithium crystals
Topher Chris registered one too many domains
IPv4 address exhaustion
Mooom, I’m scaling!
It's just a flesh wound
You're holding it wrong
Confirmed: the Starbucks Trenta is a lot of coffee. (Who has a mop?)
Tried to divide by zero
Yahoo bought us
Broke an axle